Bullshit Floodgates Opened

My week has been the literal worst. Let me break it down. First, Nate went nuts on Saturday. He had an anxiety attack and we ended up busting the window out of his vehicle to remove him, because it sure looked like he was going to drive home without a license. He played it off today like he was going to park it elsewhere. I think it's a bullshit excuse. He's playing off his negatives and upselling his positives, as per usual. But what other options do I have if I want this thing to happen? He got all defensive and picked a fight with his wife, and she nearly left his ass. He was alright when I went there today. But I want him to make proactive steps to ensure this shit doesn't happen again. Everyone has bad days. But he needs to get some semblance of a grip.

Also, I found the bedbugs that have been eating me for the last several months. There were easily fifty in the box-spring. If it sounds gross, imagine trying to sleep on that. I duct taped them and burned the tape. And I felt righteous. Like Aerys Targaryen, I burned them all. And we've been fighting them pretty consistently. It sucks. It's stupid. They're the worst creature ever invented. I want to mail them back to whoever spread them to me.

Lastly, this move has been postponed until September. Hopefully later in the month. But this gives me time to actually prepare, and get some shit done. We still have the place. We're still planning on it. Only, later. Which could even be a good thing.I plan to get my CNA worked out, save up money, and get a job before then. And Becca's friend is moving there from South Dakota around the same time. She's been subtly trying to set us up, but I can see it. Why not give it a shot?

Also, because of this shitfest, I'm going camping in Wyoming this weekend. A good friend of mine is being recognized for outstanding achievements in artistic endeavors, and I want to attend. I would never have made my suit of armor without his assistance and tool setup. And I like the people that will be there. My car is good to go, and I can leave my room for the weekend. I fully intend to drink, fight, and fuck the stress away. It'll be a dream.

All the Metaphors

I am unbelievably anxious. I'm not one to get anxiety, but this is definitely one of those times. I turned in my letter of resignation today, and have yet to find a replacement job. I have options, and a plan, but I figure that if I don't find a job right away, I still have a fallback. And it's not a BAD fallback, per se. Just not the ideal one. And I know that this is probably because I've gotten too comfortable being where I am. I watch my client all day, then go home and do what I do until bed, never having to deal with rent, or buying or making food, or anything. This is ultimately ensuring that the quench doesn't crack me, I suppose, if I'm going to use this stupid blade metaphor.

This is for the best. I put on my best Tywin Lannister face, and try to convince myself that this is the only real option. As nice as it is being cooked for and not paying rent, it also sucks not being able to date. And I know it won't be like Aurora, where I suffered from a lack of everything. I have new clothes, I'm up-to-date on my medical things, and I'll be doing this with friends and plenty of people around. It won't be half as bad as I'm scaring myself into thinking it could be. Also, I'll be within a short driving distance of my producer buddy, so I could potentially really make a name for myself.

Ultimately, this is the correct decision. This is the smart decision. I only hope that fate is kind for the next year. Though all signs point to no. At this point, I feel like the appropriate thing to do is grab fate by the nuts, give a squeeze, and tell it that the real decision here isn't whether this happens, but whether fate gets to keep its boys.

See, the main problem has been that when I send my scripts off for readings, I get glowing praise, with one or two things they're not super fond of. Then they slap me with a 5 out of 10. It's like each reader went to the Vander Zee school of grading fuckery, as I've not been graded so hard since college botany. Not that I have a problem with tough grading. Keeps the riffraff out. But this plan is effectively us trying to get into a wonderful moated castle. Some people are paladins. They come at things head-on and sink or swim by their own merit. I, however, am a rogue, and I'll play to my strengths, coming at this sideways. We're effectively constructing a ladder to cross the moat and summarily scale the castle, with the assumption being that an appreciation for our cunning and ladder-making ability will net us a spot at someone's table once inside.

As much as I would like to make metaphors from here until eternity, I'm getting back to work. I've got a lot of dialogue to polish.

Fire and Blood

I'm watching the finale of Game of Thrones season 6 again (and the mostly-bad dialogue). But it seems like I'm headed to my personal Meereen, last stop before the great game. The proving ground, where I can show that I have the mettle to thrive in this environment. And it's all coming together. The second killer script in my portfolio is likely going to be completed this weekend. I really like the direction I went with Attila and Aetius. They're suddenly a lot stronger than they previously were. I didn't touch the stuff that was praised or otherwise good. The second head of the dragon is a god damn monster.

Also, I submitted my plan to Nid, the producer. He loved it and suggested that I do more than just write. So I'm aiming at a associate producer credit. Something where I'm not in charge of the bill, but I get some aspect of creative control. Not because I'm being stubborn. I mean, I managed to make his suggestions into major plot points for this beast, but I have ideas on how we can cheaply execute our special effects and make the story more believable. We're going to start in the winter/spring, and finish it in the summer. I have every confidence in our ability to create a hell of a movie on the cheap. My biggest concern is marketing, but I believe that, with a solid trailer, a good price (free), and the dozens of favors Nid is owed, we could get noticed. It's not a competition. It's a team effort.

Lastly, I'm moving back to Colorado soon. Myself, and my besties, Nate and Pam, are moving in, and we've found a good location. I think Aurora was a crucible, melting me down into something pure and hammering out something worth having. And living at home again was the quench. My folks mellowed me back out, so I'm cool to the touch. And now I'm going into finishing and testing, which is a process. Either way, it's seeming more and more like I'm ready for this. I only have to prove it before they'll let me play in Hollywood. 

Also, I have to find the third head of the dragon. I have some ideas, but nothing concrete yet. I don't want to remove the potency of this one. But who knows? The next one might be bigger and badder. I'm debating on either something archaic or something savage and barbaric. I do love me some barbarism. And I feel like it all comes naturally. In any case, it's still but a gleam in my eye. I'll keep you updated, Homeland Security people. ;D