Update

Today I have an interview for a new place. I'm pretty confident. I mean, I was last time, but this time it's something I liked to do, that I was good at. So it should be just fine to keep me alive while I market my scripts. I would gladly accept this. And they desperately need workers. So it sounds like we need each other. This can be great for both of us.

My script in editing is going well. I've been plowing through a rewrite draft, and it has much more punch this way. It's also plumping nicely, as I'm adding in the conversations and events that I wanted to in the beginning. I guess my previous scripts had been initially bloated, so it's just adapting to the project. I have no doubt in my mind that this will be a good spec script. If nothing else, it should display my talents.

New project planning is coming along well too. I'm skipping the plot synopsis and going straight to scene synopsis. So far so good. I just hope this gravy train doesn't derail, because this has the potential to be a kickass movie script.

That's it for now.

Keeping Pace

Lately, I've been a bit troubled with my work. I didn't have another one lined up after my current one. (Usually I have one in planning and one in execution.) And the one I was working on was too short. Today I broke both. I found the perfect sequence to add length to my current one. After writing it, I need only one more sequence to get it up to-length. Which is GOOD, because I had some bit characters, and some that desperately needed more screen time. So I'm doing pretty well, all things considered.

Also, I came up with ten new projects to pick through, I don't like projects that are 100% me. I feel like you need a strong skeleton, and then good everything else. And I do the everything else well with what skeletal bits the original stories leave me, but coming up with that skeleton is pretty rough. I feel like I'd need more time to let my own ideas truly blossom.

However, I came up with a new one. I'm super pleased with it, because the planning bits are my favorite. That's the best part. The editing is a close second place, with rough drafts being my least favorite bit. By such a large margin. I suppose that means I'd likely be good at rewrites. So here's hoping.

So that's how the writing is going right now. Tomorrow I intend to get back to the editing in-full, but this is a rewrite draft, and this needed to happen. At some point, I have to do another sequence. It'll come to me. I mean, this one was mostly a few points that I tethered together in my sleep.

I would request luck, but luck is for those without talent or skill.

SUB-PLOTS!

Backstory first, but I'll try to keep it brief.

I dated this girl about 6 years ago. It didn't pan out (and that's cool), and she's married now (also cool). However, after we broke up, I tried to get some perspective from her friend. We spoke for a year online, got along famously, and ended up briefly dating before she cheated on me a couple times. Distance is a bitch. We ended it (poorly). We kept in touch, and she would have these waves of depression. Suicidal tendencies and all. I opted out of the whole equation (in a douche move). When I went to check up on her, all I found was a suicide note. It was rough, and I blamed myself, and I ended up beating that demon to death in a merciless fashion. I did so in a script. It was cathartic as hell. Recently, I learned that she was alive. Apparently I blocked her on everything while fucked up on god-knows-what.

SO, here we are. We've been talking, and there were mutual apologies. I was a monster back in the day. She was sorry for her part, though in my opinion, she was blameless. I went through a big drug period between the break up and the screenwriting. It was a dark period of my life, and I'm not thrilled about it. But the bitter tonic of failure is incentive enough to avoid it for the future. And today we really got to talking. Just like we used to do. She was kind of my best friend for a while. My confidant. She just GOT me, you know? And when we met in person. It was a disaster, and I was awful.

This leads to the problem bit. I think the feelings are perhaps coming back. I mean, I would break my no-dating-exes rule for this one (and only this one), assuming we could be in the same location. But Iowa and New Jersey are no closer than they were before. And this time she has a boyfriend. I'm concerned because these feeling  ultimately pushed me into my drug phase. And now the same person is back. She's different, I assume. Four years will change someone. But it seems significant that we wouldn't quit thinking of each other. And she went out of her way to find me. I simply didn't remember that I had blocked her.

And, I keep trying to think of a non-insane way to say this, but I asked (the apparent powers that be) how much longer this...me being single thing...was going to continue. It's been quite a while... And like, two days later, this started. Could be a coincidence. It absolutely could. But we just clicked like there was no big gap where we didn't talk. I tossed out all kinds of new jokes and references, and she got me, just like old times.

I'm a bit paranoid that the same thing will happen again, with the same person. But everything was exactly like it was. It's bad to have presuppositions. I know this. But it's a weird coincidence to have the one who died come back and find you just after you confess that you're tired of being single...

Life is the strangest thing that has ever happened to me...

Change in Plans

I got there and immediately realized what a mistake it was. My room was snaked from out from under me, which made the pet thing difficult. Their cats would seek out and gang up on mine. Had we had a room, there would have been no problems. But as it was, they were immediate and non-stop. I moved home. The deal kept changing. It changed day by day. And then I realized that everyone but Cloud was smack-talking me. Which figures, because her girlfriend is exactly like her mom, and her mom is a waste of space on planet Earth. She exists for no reason other than to party. Fifty, and she parties with kids because she has no friends and does nothing else.

And I remembered what Les Brown says: You have to get the losers out of your life. Cloud is a good person. But she's mired in the center of a horde of losers, and I doubt she will escape. I, however, have an out.

I am currently working on mentoring Nate some. He's devoted to this, and he's trying very hard. I believe he can do it, provided he keeps working. And I KNOW I can do it. Some of the scenes I was working on in my final run on both portfolio scripts gave me goosebumps, because the emotion in them felt...raw. And I'm still letting my most recent script simmer. It needs time to ferment in my head.

I have chosen to take it. I am ousting those people from my life that are not like me. People who only want to know where their next bottle will come from, or who will bang them next week. Childish people. I have killed the boy. And now the man will live.

Now I just need a job to fund my marketing.

My Scripts

Not that I'm attempting to pimp them out from here. (That would be sad as hell.) But I think I should talk about them some, as I ultimately began this journey from literal step 1: How do you write a screenplay? It's been a couple years, and it's been a time of learning everything and anything on the topic I can. I've had the foresight to see that anyone who claims to have the ultimate secret to screenwriting but has yet to make a fortune selling their own scripts is so full of shit, they should legally change their name to Septic Tank. But I figure I should document my own journey to some degree.

Script number one was an attempt to turn the Second Punic War into a movie. It was always one of my favorite stories, and I was always disappointed that I couldn't SEE the elephants crossing the alps, or the battle of Lake Trasimene, or the rage on both Roman and Carthaginian as the other makes infuriating decisions. I tried and failed. But there was an end product. A godawful one, even after the editing runs. But it proved to me that I have what it takes to finish what I began. Not just to write a damn script, but to edit one too. I had stamina.

Script number two was a prequel to the Predator franchise. I had no illusions about selling it, but I constructed a story with depth, character, and a cool concept. Again, it was godawful, but I still want to see a Predator hunting conquistadors... It proved to me that I could write a story. Though I still had so much ground to cross. It was rather like crossing Nebraska on a coast-to-coast roadtrip: way too long, inspiring when it was behind me, but ultimately I was still nowhere.

Script number three was a further attempt to explore the genres that interest me. I was hunting for where I would plant my roots and grow. So I tried horror. I even entered this one into a screenplay contest (with feedback), to see if I wasting my time. And I credit this with my continued success. The story was godawful. I was wrestling with some demons at the time, so I put them on the page in physical form, and gave my main character the tools to kill my demons. Despite this, when I entered into the contest, they said that I was "good," but that my story was a "pass." And I fully agree, except the assessment that I was good. I still sucked. I have forgotten more since then than I ever knew.

Number four was another historical epic. I've just completed the rough draft of my own remake of it, because it too was godawful. Too short, too simple, and frankly not the level of quality that I would be comfortable putting my name on. But I am convinced the concept is gold. This one came with two lessons. 1) OUTLINES ARE ESSENTIAL. Before that, I was winging it with the story, and I got where winging it will send you. 2) You may pause while writing a script, but keep the pause short. I set it down for months at a time, and as a result, it's disjuncted. Like several writers picked it up and tried a handful of scenes. I could probably have saved it, but what was the point? I had other projects coming up.

Then I tried my hand at comedy, with a superhero comedy. I found that, while I enjoyed it, it was not my thing. I was halfway through the rough draft when I began to plan my next project, which constantly nipped this one on the heel. Far from writing this one like it deserved, I was ultimately eager for it to be behind me so I could jump into my next one. And seeing that comedy was far more difficult than I had assumed, I opted to forego editing. But I realized halfway through this one where my genre was.

Anabasis. It's the one where I developed my voice, and I know, factually, that it has movie potential. The action sequences were designed to be the best I could conceive. I hate Hollywood tactics with a passion. A stupid move doesn't become less stupid because the story demands it. But movies forgive stupid moves. This one does not. It was my first portfolio piece. I legitimately cried when I was done, because I knew that this one was PROOF that I had what it took. The long nights of reading scripts while watching movies, playing games of ancient tactics (For lack of anything else to do.), and reading books on classical warfare. My pitiful attempts at SCA combat. The years studying history and biology and geology. It was all in here. I felt the pride I imagined a mother dragon would feel, knowing that the cruelty, violence, and spite held in its pages would prove my ability.

My most recent completed project was a Game of Thrones-inspired piece. They manage to have plotlines running all over, and after dissecting each scene from each episode from each season, I had the pattern worked out. So I put it into a movies about the Gempei War. I was utilizing the pattern along with the assumption that people didn't go to see The Last Samurai for Captain Algren's drinking problem so much as to see samurai fighting, So I filled it to the brim with samurai fighting, war tactics, and the interesting characters who already fought in the first major samurai war. Again, my portfolio grew. I learned so damn much from this one. The big take-home message was that weeks of planning will cut months of editing. I am convinced that I would not have been able to finish this without patience. The final product was worth those months of my life, and even if it never sells, I'm thrilled to be able to picture the movie in my head whenever I want.

It's been a really strange trip from the first night in a basement in Laramie, Wyoming, when a friend ranted about screenwriting software to a man on the bottom of the world. And I'm convined this odyssey will be successful. I only need to remember one thing: The distance between Babylon and Athens is great. But finite.

Good News Everyone!

HAHA! The puppeteer pulls the strings. I know this faith is madness, but it is consistently rewarded. I got a call back from a very interested job, doing customer service for a company that sells survival gear. They wanted to hear from me today, but after explaining my situation, they pushed it back to Friday. So Friday I've got a job interview doing customer service for a company I have genuine interest in. I've cleaned and cooked a rattlesnake over an open fire. This is a thing I am really happy about, guys. It's kind of perfect for me! They let it slip that I'm a top contender. No jinxing it, but still...

Good news number two. I guess I'm a mentor now. My high school bestie Nate has expressed interest in screenwriting. But he's on step one. And I believe in him already. He's got adequate support, and he has plenty of time in his day, as his seizures put him on permanent disability. But he sees this as the potential to provide for his family in the way he's wanted to all along, and I respect that mentality. I was motivated by desperation as well. But I found the breadcrumb trail on my own. I've come a long way. I'm on screenplay number eight, and I think I may be good enough to contend with the greats. But this is good for forcing me to keep on. I thought Cloud would be my padawan, but she's got her own plan. And if this can bring good things to the lives of good people, it is MY privilege to be involved. So today, we got him set on that. But he's doing horror, and I'm doing epics. Potential overlap (and we have some overlap ideas planned for the years ahead), but not direct competition. It's beautiful, really. 

So now I'm working toward this in hot-blooded earnest. I'm done with the first draft of my new script, and it SUUUUUUCKS. But every other one did too when I first started, and this one has the potential to enter into my portfolio. It's a solid stand-alone, but I've set it up for trilogy potential. I think that's exactly what they want. So I plan to be back in Colorado in the next few days. And when I get there, it's going to be epic. I'm going forward in earnest with the editing on this, hoping to end the summer with a complete portfolio. Three scripts, one genre, and they're all 100% different. Showing my diversity and talent. I can do a war movie, an intrigue movie, and an odyssey, and I can make them all shine.

So we burn the boats. Go to this job, pay off my bills, do what I must, and once me and Cloud move in September, I'm marketing in earnest. The days of being unable to date for lack of gas money are at an end. The days of washing my clothing in the shower are over as well. I'm done rationing out my food to ensure that I eat every day. I'll never sleep on a mattress on the floor of a roach-infested apartment for a day in my life. And I'm never discussing student loans EVER AGAIN. 

It's almost time to save my world! 

Mike is a screenwriter.

Not professionally. Cue sad trombone. However, it's what I want to do, and I know this.

Screenwriting was not my idea. It was the beginning of the trail of breadcrumbs I've been following for the past couple years. Curiously, it was sort of a direction from something I cannot comprehend. You can call it a god, or whatever. I don't know what it is. It caught me when I was at rock-bottom, reassured a passionate officer in the Secular Student Alliance that it was real and there, and put me on this path. And it likes art.

And I think I see it's pattern. I studied history, biology, and anthropology in college. All of them lend themselves well to this. I was active in the Society for Creative Anachronism. Well enough to know what a battle feels like, but not too involved in the group. A strange skill-set, that makes writing the historical epic natural. And that's what I want to do. That's my genre and my passion, and I know it's my destiny.

My portfolio is looking pretty sexy, and I'm really pleased with the skills and know-how I've developed in the past year. After reading so many scripts, dissecting so many movies, and putting in so much effort, I know I'm taking a breath right now. The breath before the plunge. I know the beast I intend to conquer, and I respect and admire it.

It's just so hard to be patient, you know? When I have student loan collections blowing up my phone, telling me to hand over my food budget to them for something that didn't put me anywhere close to where they promised they would. And I see my super-marketable scripts collecting dust because I can't afford to pimp them out at all. I'm perpetually a few dollars away from salvation, and it's a kick in the gut every time the thought crosses my mind.

So I'm trying to remember to have faith. I know I'm good enough. I had script #3 coveraged, and he said I was "good, but the story sucked," and it DID. But my marketable ones are pure dynamite. I've seen the movies that set the bar, and I aimed so far above that, while remembering the basics. But damn, does it not suck to have someone call and ask for money I don't have, knowing that the very same money could get rid of all of their bills in one fell swoop.

So again, the mantra is: Just breathe. And have faith.