Definition of insanity.

The definition of insanity, as I've been told, is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results. I was recently chastised by the divine for such a thing. I wanted to know where the weaknesses in The Hun were, so I bought two reviews from the Black List. And, like a moron, expected to somehow get a good score. The review was helpful, and well-worth the money, but at this point, I wish they'd just remove the scores altogether. They're not helpful.

My first one got a 7, which is solid. My second one got a 5, for being too expensive. Typical. And the thing was, they both agreed on the big issues, with little ones thrown in that could potentially be corrected. The big issue was that Attila wasn't fleshed out enough, and his voice was lacking. I agree wholeheartedly. I had overlooked it, and given stronger voice to everyone BUT the title character. Foolish, and easily rectified. I also changed another character's dialogue, and this was soundly rejected. My bad, guys. It was a last-minute change, and I can change it back in an evening. No harm, no foul. Other than that, nothing but praise.

The issue is that, somewhere in the wait, I had assumed that the Black List was going to be my salvation. Some agent would see it and think "now there's a guy who can write," and pass it off to Chris Pratt or Jennifer Lawrence, and I would be redeemed. But I forgot that this website exists solely to peddle upcoming indie flicks. I'm like a jeweler operating in a fish market, I swear to God. And it came down on me, hard. Last night, I was all fire, ready to make a badass script. Then I read that and nearly quit writing altogether. After all, it got the same score as Shogun. I'd spent a whole year writing between then and now, and I get the same damn score? FOR REAL?

Luckily, I opted not to. I figured that I'm much closer to success than to the beginning. I mean, it's downhill from here. A long downhill, but downhill nonetheless. And who knows? I still have options. More than most people, probably. And since I know damn-well I can make solid characters (except for Attila, I guess), I should try a more accepting market. My buddy, Nid, is an indie director. I figure that, while I work on another script that will be panned by Hollywood's gatekeepers, we could at LEAST get something good on Youtube, If it's well-received, it could be a career-maker. And Nid is a good guy, with a lot of talent. If anyone can make it work, he can.

I figure I'm open to any genre, themes, and rough character. If he can give me the gist of what he wants, I'll do my damnedest to get it fleshed out right. I think this might be the right route. For he and I both. I'll keep this thing updated, don't fret. He and I will talk about this tonight. To be honest, I'm pretty stoked.

PERSONAL STUFF:
I think I'm just out of the rooming thing. I haven't told them yet, but they'll come up with everything on their own anyway. And when it comes down to it, I think Katie wants to live in Colorado, with her bestie. Not with the rest of us. If (when) things go tits-up, I think the pair will abandon the rest of us to go live on their own. And I refuse to join into something that I see is doomed to failure. And in the handful of times that she and I have been around each other, and the stories they tell me about her, I have seen that she's a drama queen. I feel like that's going to make housing complex, and I'd prefer it as simple as humanly possible. No politics, drama, or fighting. Home is a safe place.

So yeah. Personal life. I have no idea what's going on. I intend to move out there on my own, if this isn't changed. And, to be honest, even if it IS changed, I may move out there on my own anyway. I don't trust her. I think she's psychologically damaged, and I foresee a long damn year ahead of us. Now the question is: Do I tell them my thoughts and risk it becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy, or do I keep it to myself and risk people I like going through hell?