Mike is a screenwriter.

Not professionally. Cue sad trombone. However, it's what I want to do, and I know this.

Screenwriting was not my idea. It was the beginning of the trail of breadcrumbs I've been following for the past couple years. Curiously, it was sort of a direction from something I cannot comprehend. You can call it a god, or whatever. I don't know what it is. It caught me when I was at rock-bottom, reassured a passionate officer in the Secular Student Alliance that it was real and there, and put me on this path. And it likes art.

And I think I see it's pattern. I studied history, biology, and anthropology in college. All of them lend themselves well to this. I was active in the Society for Creative Anachronism. Well enough to know what a battle feels like, but not too involved in the group. A strange skill-set, that makes writing the historical epic natural. And that's what I want to do. That's my genre and my passion, and I know it's my destiny.

My portfolio is looking pretty sexy, and I'm really pleased with the skills and know-how I've developed in the past year. After reading so many scripts, dissecting so many movies, and putting in so much effort, I know I'm taking a breath right now. The breath before the plunge. I know the beast I intend to conquer, and I respect and admire it.

It's just so hard to be patient, you know? When I have student loan collections blowing up my phone, telling me to hand over my food budget to them for something that didn't put me anywhere close to where they promised they would. And I see my super-marketable scripts collecting dust because I can't afford to pimp them out at all. I'm perpetually a few dollars away from salvation, and it's a kick in the gut every time the thought crosses my mind.

So I'm trying to remember to have faith. I know I'm good enough. I had script #3 coveraged, and he said I was "good, but the story sucked," and it DID. But my marketable ones are pure dynamite. I've seen the movies that set the bar, and I aimed so far above that, while remembering the basics. But damn, does it not suck to have someone call and ask for money I don't have, knowing that the very same money could get rid of all of their bills in one fell swoop.

So again, the mantra is: Just breathe. And have faith.